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The apartment
Interdeterminate future
It was not a nice place. It was a crappy place in a crap neighborhood. It was what they could afford though. They were proud of their apartment though. Nyota was really happy. She had always wanted to move out. Now she had all sorts of ideas and dreams for this place.
“Now we can get you some nice new clothes.” Nyota suggested with a sigh. She leaned against a stack of boxes.
“You are already thinking of new things to buy? We Just moved in. Do you not think we should get settled in first? I like the ones I have anyways.” Evageline replied. She leaned against the wall. It was silly for Nyota to buy her anything. Evageline did not want Nyota to spend any money on her. Especially since this place had taken up most of their money.
“It is a representation of your old life. This is something new and exciting and shiny! You should get new clothes. Those are rather old anyways.” Nyota thought it was only fair since Evageline had so little that she would get treated.
“Maybe we should also get you some new reading material. I think you have memorized those books. There is a library downtown if you do not want to buy any. You certainly spent a lot of time at the library.” Nyota added. She wanted to make Evageline happy. Nyota wanted her life here to be great. Evageline has had a hard life and she wanted to make sure that it was made better.
“Why you spending all this money on me? We should really worry about the apartment and food and bills and shit. Clothes and books and other fancy shit is for later when we get everything together.” Evageline was suspicious of how nice Nyota was being. Nyota had been nice before but she did not think that they should be spending all this money.
“Well can I not buy you nice things? You have gone so long with the same things. Do you not think that you deserve new things?” Nyota questioned her. With all the fancy things that she owned it was only fair.
“I like my books and I like my clothes. It is completely fine. I would not worry about me at all.” Evageline did not feel like fighting. She did not want the first day they move in to start with a fight. Sometimes the fights started innocently enough but Evageline had tried her hardest to stop them. If they were over something stupid. She opened up a box.
“Ah dishes. This goes in the kitchen.” Evageline picked up the box and moved it into the designated kitchen space. The kitchen was a linear style. The fridge was against a wall that lead into the living room. A counter spread down the wall from there with a sink. A few spaces down was a stove with a little counter space next to the stove. It was a tiny little kitchen. The entire apartment was rather small for two people but it would work. Next to the kitchen was the living area which was the rest of the apartment. There was a short hallway with two doors near each other, there was two other doors on the other side of the hallway. The first door was a small bedroom. It had one window and a small closet running next to the window. The door next to the bedroom was the bathroom. It was small with a small sink. It had a medicine cabinet above with a wooden frame. The counter space was very limited so this was an important feature. There was a standard toilet and a standing only shower. Going down the other side of the hallway were two closets.
They did not have that many boxes to unpack. Evageline only had the bag that she carried around. That was the entirity of her posessions. The rest was either stuff for the apartment (dishes, sheets, towels, stuff for the bathroom, silverware, pots and pans, shelving, and books.) or Nyotas stuff. Nyota had more stuff then Evageline did because it was easy to have more stuff then Evageline. They had a couch and a coffee table currently in the living room. They did not have a table for eating meals at. The couch and the coffee table would have to do well enough for that.

“I am Just trying to make sure you are happy. I
“Do you not think you deserve to be happy?” Nyota walked into the kitchen. She stood there and watched Evageline go through the box putting the different glasses on the counter.
“I have you do I not? You make me happy.” Evageline walked over to Nyota and gave her a hug.
Nyota smiled. “Yes you do. I am very happy as well.” After thinking for a second she added.
“Do you think we could change our relationship status now?” Nyota was referring to their relationship status. as a few of their fights had gone on about what they were. Evageline had told her:
“Not in this town. Not with these people.”
And so Evageline had gone off to find a Job. It was not easy but she did manage to get one.
Evageline laughed. “Well we do live together now. I doubt anyone will take you from me now.” A smile spread across her face but it was an untrustworthy smile. Something that would unerve even the most calm person.
“No one was going to take me from you before. You are Just crazy. Have you noticed I am pretty much the only person who is willing to deal with your shit?”
“Shut up. Do you really want to have our first night here be one that starts with a fight?” Evageline was not really tired. She was in the 'Oh dear god please shut up why are we always fighting?' kind of way and not in the 'I want to go to sleep.' kind of way. Even a person such as her grew tired of fighting especially if it was with Nyota.
Nyota sighed. “You are right. Let us not worry about anything tonight. That is what tomorrow is for.”
Nyota went back to the living room to find a different box. This one was the one that had the microwave in it. Nyota picked up the box and moved it to the kitchen where she picked the microwave out of the box and pushed it onto the counter. It was Just heavy enough to be hard for her to pick up. Nyota did accomplish this without dropping it though. Which was good news.
“Go pick out a favorite movie of yours. I will get some tea ready.” Nyota instructed Evageline. Moving was awfully stressful.
The bedroom was not set up at all really. It had a few boxes in it that was nyotas stuff. Evageline took a blanket out of one of the boxes. She put it on the bed and smoothed it out but they were going to sit on it anyways. So she did not smooth it out perfectly. Evageline opened another box and searched through the dvds that Nyota had taken from the house. Evageline shuffled through this box until she found the dvd box for 'The princess and the frog'. It was a cute disney movie and no one could dislike a disney movie. Evageline got out her laptop and placed it on the bed while she plugged the charger into the wall. Evageline got onto the bed and got all curled up in the blankets as she turned on her laptop and got it ready. Nyota appeared a few minutes later with two cups of tea. She put the cups down on the end table before curling up with Evageline. Nyota leaned into Evageline with her head resting on Evagelines shoulder. They drank their teas and watched the movie. The laptop was moved to the end table as they fell asleep. Neither of them wanted the laptop to be damaged.

When the movie was over Evangeline reached over to turn off her laptop. Nyota had fallen asleep. Her arms folded into her chest. Evageline I did not want to wake her. So evageline wrapped her arms gently aroun Nyota and fell asleep promptly.
Something devilish had posessed Evageline in the first place to tell Nyota of the girls. It was not even if Nyota had asked her about them. She knew nothing of their existence. It was not such a smart ideea for Evageline to mention them at all. Perhaps it was the way Nyota smiled at her. She was so happy to see her. So happy to be able to touch and feel Evageline again. Evageline could not lie to Nyota as much as she wanted to. She dreaded the response as she told her of them. Nyotas eyes welled up with tears as her smile fell. Some whisper had been made. But it was too quiet for Evageline to be made out. Something louder and angrier questioned her next.
“ How could you?! “
Evageline reached out to hold her hand to offer a smile to offer an expanation. But Evageline had seen this face many times before. Everyone always wanted an explanation. Evageline knew what they wanted to hear. She was an expert. She knew exactly what to say, what to do.

Something about Nyota had blanked her mind. She could not focus on what to do. What to say. Evageline returned to her threatening demeanor. It was an reaction. She did not intend to be so mean but she could not help it. All that effort was gone now. It was useless and there was nothing.
“ You are one of them now. Congratulations. “ Evageline said this sarcastically. Referring to becoming part of the rest of the highschool that she had used.
“ You did not have anything to start. I Just really liked you. “ Evageline added. She walked away with her hands balled up into fists. She was surely to punch the first person to come across her path.

There was nowhere for her to go. No one to calm her down. No one for her to hear her rants and rambles. She was alone. She had always been alone but this was different. It was painful.

Mar. 22nd, 2013

ugh finally this Jehan anon realizes how often they have sex.

They have sex constantly

It's rather distracting.

Today i found out that my fear of spiders is a lot less then my desperation for cutting.

Feb. 27th, 2013

Jill didn't spend any money today!

Now if only my life could be like this day.

Jill isn't the incredibly selfish attention whore she thinks she is!


So one day

I was talking to my girlfriend and telling her about the barricade boys and how much i love them and a lot of rambling.

Then i had to stop and tell her how much i loved her so she knew i wasn't trading her for them.


I might have a problem.

Not the worst thing.

My mom tells me all the time the worst thing someone can do is say no when you ask them for something.

That is not actually the worst thing.

If they said no (or if they say yes but are angry about it.) i then feel bad about wasting their time and will spend the next few hours (or the next day.) being incredibly sad and tired.

The worst thing is my brain could talk to me and the blade could whisper my name.

The worst thing is believing both of them.

And it's really hard to not listen to them.

Oct. 31st, 2012

It's not anger anymore it's my loss of control.

I keep posting that i want to punch someone in the face and throw and scream and punch everything.

But i'm not angry at anyone (atleast not in these sets.) it's Just me being confused and it happens to come out as anger. You can find me shaking and generally being angry at electronics that won't cooperate with me. So it's a common thing but it gets more annoying when it's not a simple 'my phone won't turn on.' annoyance.

It's just a pain in my ass and i hate it.
(but love it a lot because she cares so much and you probably see the problem here.)

Oct. 16th, 2012

I hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate my self i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself

Sep. 11th, 2012

I adore my room.

I can go sit up there take my Jacket off put some shorts on. Show off my arms and legs to the entire world. No one says anything because no one is there. It's my room. It spends most of the time empty or with me occupying the space. I can eat whole boxes of cereal, Jars of peanut butter and cry and cuddle with stuffed animals and it doesn't care. I can watch movies and dangle off my couch precariously.

No one in my room Judges me because there is no one else in that room.

Except for a lot of stuffed animals but they never Judge me ever.